A Year of Building

“I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.” Isaiah 44:2

A whole year has gone by since God worked a miracle in my life.

A whole year of working on my faith, my relationship with Jesus and my happiness.

A whole year of feeling the most free I’ve ever felt.

A year ago today, I woke up feeling like Kari again, but it took a lot of tears and prayers to get there.

I’ve blogged before about my post partum depression and the darkness I was in for the whole first year of my youngest daughter’s life. I was fed up with who I had become and the weight that was hanging on my shoulders.

I believe that year was the lowest I’ve ever felt. I was full of anxiety on a daily basis, my self image was terrible and I truly hated the person I was.

I remember crying numerous times, because I didnt want to ruin the first year of Mia’s life with all this baggage. But nothing I did could pull me out of that funk. Some days were better than others. Some days I believed I was going to be okay, but then the next day was a mess again.

Turns out, God always has a plan. Even when we don’t have a clue what he’s doing, HE KNOWS!

That year was hard. So hard. BUT I’m stronger for it.

I prayed and prayed that I would find happiness with myself again. That I could look in the mirror and not cry. That I could get through the day without crying period.

God answered all those prayers and some.

Last Easter, He guided us to our church.  A place we had never stepped foot in. A place of a few familiar faces, but a lot of people we had never met before. That place changed my life and my family forever.

It’s amazing that God knows what your story is before you know. That he has written each page and it’s not a surprise to him. He knew exactly what I needed to heal my broken soul.

Yes, the last year has brought a few trying times, but nothing I couldn’t grow from. My soul was broken again, because I let my guard down and let people stomp all over me. My husband lost his job in December and at that point we both had a lot of healing to do.

Those things were major storms in our life, but again, God had a plan.

Everything works out in the end, if you believe HIS plan is the best plan.

I have grown so much in my faith, I really don’t find myself worrying all that much. There are days I need a good cry… hello, I’m a mom. We all find ourselves crying in the bathroom every once in a while.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come in the last year. I have never felt this calm and free before. I’ll continue to build my relationship with the Lord and can’t wait to see what His plans for me entail.

Remember you’re not alone in whatever storm you’re going through. Get down on your knees, cry and talk to the big guy. He WILL take care of you. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!