Changes, Choices & Emotions

33C294C4-79F0-4154-AE16-6A37AF6B2AFE.jpegWhen I started this blog, I told myself I would always be truthful, raw and share my real emotions.

I wanted to be the inspiration people could trust in and count on. That person that could be there to turn to when you need someone to listen. When times got rough, you could read this blog and know you’re not alone.

Today, I’m going to be extremely real and just let it out there. Maybe it’s just that I need to vent, but bare with me.

Spring is all about the new. A new season. New smells. New colors. New haircuts and clothing. New activities. So much change.

Yet in my world, some things never change.

People don’t, or can’t, change. Habits stay the same. Some get better. Others get worse.

This particular thing that changes for the worse is killing someone I love.

Habits that were started so many years ago, have taken a toll. It’s too late to change it completely, but maybe there is hope for some change. His body and mind crave it.

The choices we make as young adults will last forever. It’s up to the path you take to determine if these lasting effects will be good or bad.

I’m not sure if this person knows how much it hurts me to see him this way. Does he know what he’s done to his body? To the ones that love him?

Does he know he has God on his side to help him change?

I don’t know any of these answers because it’s hard to talk to someone that’s not all there all the time.

He has the biggest heart and cares so much for his daughters and grandkids. But then why must he let this habit be in control?

These are questions I ask almost daily. I worry daily about this person and his health.

I understand we all make choices in life that have consequences. Did he know this is what would happen? Probably not. In his mind he’s doing what he’s always done.

Let’s be honest. Our bodies aren’t invincible. This life won’t last forever. If we don’t take care of ourselves in this life, what does that show God?

The memories I have of my childhood, family vacations, the hero he has always been in my eyes are what I hope to always remember. Not the hard stuff. The mess. The heart aches and anxiety.

I pray that the good Lord guides me dad and his alcohol problem. I will always pray that something changes for the better.

I’m sure I’m not the only one that has had alcohol rock their world. So many people let it control their life. I pray for you.

This post was one I was going to keep to myself, but I couldn’t just lock it away. I’m sorry it’s so depressing. Not every aspect of life is full of rainbows.

Now, I’ll going to wipe my tears and make the best of the day. I love you all.

 

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