In a season of being thankful and gobs of holiday cheer everywhere you look, I’m feeling broken.
I’ve felt this way too much lately. Like I don’t have a grasp on life these days. It’s disappointing. I don’t want to feel like this.
I thought maybe I just don’t have that “yay Christmas is coming, let’s live in WhoVille” feeling because I’m getting older. Why the heck should that matter?
Friends, if you know me on a personal level, you know I’m a nut about Christmas. I decorate early. We bake millions of cookies. Christmas movies all day, err day.
I may have put up decorations early. More to help me get excited. No excitement. None.
Something inside of me is broken.
Broken.
Where has my child like giddiness gone? Why am I such a grinch? Why am I struggling with myself so much these days?
So I got to thinking. How can I fix this? How can I change my mindset every morning to not let my head get in the way.
It’s an easy answer. Spend time with God. Duh. Talk to the big guy and thank Him for another day.
I knew what needed to change. I haven’t been spending as much time with Him. I’ve let my days be consumed with chaos and no down time. And because I’m letting myself get so overwhelmed, I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown that no one needs to witness.
This girl needs to take a step back and find herself again. Stop feeling like a failure and make changes. This is not the time of year to be broken.
If you’re feeling broken, you too can get out of this funk. Get a journal and write ten things you’re thankful for today. And do that everyday. Make time for prayer in the morning before anyone else is awake and can get in your head.
Girl, you’re stronger than you think. We can get through this together. Find that inner child and giddiness about life again. Happiness isn’t something we can buy. We do have to search for it sometimes though.
Lets find it.
XO
My Wildflower Life 