Have you ever said something that you immediately regretted saying? Yeah, me too.
Yesterday I was being interviewed for a project with GROW and made a statement that I am still mad at myself for saying.
But here’s the thing, I shouldn’t even be mad about it. I think I’m more worried about being judged for what I said. (Needless to say, I asked to have this statement edited out.)
You want to know what I said don’t you?
I was talking about where I came from, how I met my husband, blah blah and then I said that I never wanted kids. That part is what I’m mad about.
But it’s true. I never wanted kids. I didn’t see myself as a mom. You can ask my mom and sister. I never talked about how I couldn’t wait to be a mom. I wanted to be the cool aunt that came to town, spoiled nieces and nephews and then went about me life.
It’s crazy the way we plan our life, but God has different ideas in store.
The day I found out I was pregnant with Rae, I cried big tears because I was so scared. I didn’t think I had the mom qualities in me. The thought of keeping a human alive scared me to death. At this time I couldn’t even keep a house plant alive- thank heavens I now can keep humans and numerous house plants alive with no problem.
And then the day she was born my entire world changed. Every time I said the words “my daughter” I got this feeling in my heart that I never had before.
I’m blessed with two little girls who have forever changed my world. I can’t imagine life without them.
It’s totally fine to not want kids. Not everyone dreams of having a family. I shouldn’t be mad at myself for making the statement I did because it’s okay.
I’m just going to say this: I am so glad my plans weren’t as good as God’s. Because without my mini me’s, life would be extremely boring.